Life isn't fair to men.................

Thought 1:

When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?

Thought 2:

The average man's life consists of - twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going;
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
And at the end, the mourners wondering too.

Thought 3:

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind: u take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A North Indian GIRL as WIFE

1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl hasmore boyfriends than her age.
2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywoodheroine and after marriage you have to go around hertwice to completely hug her.
3. By the time she professes her undevoted love toyou, you are bankrupt because of the number of timesyou had to take her out to movie theatres andrestaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry.
4. The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneerbutter masala, aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloomatar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneerand aloos you are either in the bed with chroniccholestrol or chronic gas disorder.
5. The only growth that you see later in your careeris the rise in your monthly phone bill.
6. You are blinded by her love that you think thatshe is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because ofthe mehandhi that she applies to cover her gray hair.
7. When you come home from office she is very busywatching "Kyonki saas bhi kabi bahu thi" that youeither end up eating outside or cooking yourself.
8. You are a very "ESpecial" person to her.
9. She always thought that Madras is a state andcovers the whole of south india until she met you.
10. When she says she is going to "work out" shemeans she is going to "walk out"
11. She has greater number of relatives than thenumber of people you have in your home town.
12. The only two sentences in English that she knowsare "Thank you" and "How are you"
13. She thinks Govinda can dance better than MichaelJackson.

WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A South Indian GIRL as WIFE

1.Her mother looks down at you because you didn'tstudy in IIT or Madras /Anna University.
2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with" ... I say..."
3. She shudders if you use four letter words.
4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (TheDubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate with heron a 25 year contract to extract coconutoil from herhair.)
5. She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative.
6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or aflower.
7. Her first name is longer than your first name,middle name and surname combined (unless you are fromAndhra)
8. When she mixes milk/curd and rice you are neversure whether it is for the Dog or for herself.
9. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden onher head and wears silk saris in the Madras heatwithout looking too uncomfortable while you aremelting in your singlet.
10. She thinks Mohan Lal is the sexiest man alive.
11. Her favourite cricketer is KrishnamachariSrikkanth.
12. Her favourite food is dosa though she has triedNorth Indian snacks like Chats (pronounced like theslang for 'conversation')
13. She bursts into songs with her cousins in everymovie.
14. She bores you by telling you which raaga eachsong you hear is based on.
15. You have to give her jewellery, though she hasalready got plenty of it ..
16. Her thali (Mangal Sutra) weighs more than thechampionship belts worn by WWF wrestlers.
17. She is more educated than you.
18. Her father thinks she is much smarter than you..

So..it's always better to be alone and enjoy ur life!!!