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Which is more painful?
This one...
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Friday, December 14, 2007
Truly Hilarious!!!
Read on the true incident of a lady and just keep on laughing !!!! You just can't stop laughing, I am so sure abt it.
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans just to keep him happy.
Some months later, on my birthday , my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than oked=20cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and I nearly died when I saw twelve dinner guests seated around the table & they all chorused:
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans just to keep him happy.
Some months later, on my birthday , my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than oked=20cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and I nearly died when I saw twelve dinner guests seated around the table & they all chorused:
its amazing "try it"
Here is a good History Tutorial-------------------
Please read the interesting facts below u ll be amazed.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846 .
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946 .
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960 .
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird............
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy .
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat ...............
Lincoln was shot at the theater named " Ford ."
Kennedy was shot in a car called " Lincoln " made by " Ford "
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the "kicker"................
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe .
and Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater .
Send this to as many people as you can, because: this is one history
lesson people don't mind reading ! ! !
DO U LIKE IT..........
Please read the interesting facts below u ll be amazed.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846 .
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946 .
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960 .
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird............
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy .
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat ...............
Lincoln was shot at the theater named " Ford ."
Kennedy was shot in a car called " Lincoln " made by " Ford "
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the "kicker"................
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe .
and Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater .
Send this to as many people as you can, because: this is one history
lesson people don't mind reading ! ! !
DO U LIKE IT..........
FUNNY COLOR!!!!
This poem was nominated poem of 2005 for the best poem, written by an African kid......... amazing thought!!!
*When I born, I Black, *
*When I grow up, I Black,** *
*When I go in Sun, I Black, *
*When I scared, I Black,** *
*When I sick, I Black, *
*And when I die, I still black..** *
*And you White fell**ow**,*
*When you born, you Pink,** *
*When you grow up, you White, *
*When you go in Sun, you Red,** *
*When you cold, you Blue,*
*When you scared, you Yellow,** *
*When you sick, you Green, *
*And when you die, you Gray..** *
*And you calling me Colored ??*
SOME THOUGHT
*When I born, I Black, *
*When I grow up, I Black,** *
*When I go in Sun, I Black, *
*When I scared, I Black,** *
*When I sick, I Black, *
*And when I die, I still black..** *
*And you White fell**ow**,*
*When you born, you Pink,** *
*When you grow up, you White, *
*When you go in Sun, you Red,** *
*When you cold, you Blue,*
*When you scared, you Yellow,** *
*When you sick, you Green, *
*And when you die, you Gray..** *
*And you calling me Colored ??*
SOME THOUGHT
Interesting :- Warren Buffet
There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren
Buffet, the second richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. Here are some
veryinteresting aspects of his life:
1) He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he
started too late!
2) He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering
newspapers.
3) He still lives in the same small 3-bedroom house in mid-town
Omaha, that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he
has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall
or a fence.
4) He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or
security people around him.
5) He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's
largest private jet company.
6) His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes
only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them
goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular
basis.
7) He has given his CEO's only two rules. Rule number 1: do not
lose any of your shareholder's money. Rule number 2: Do not forget rule
number 1.
8) He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past
time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch
television.
9) Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time
only 5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common
with Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour.
But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
10) Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer
on his desk.
11) His advice to young people: Stay away from credit cards and
investin yourself.
Buffet, the second richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. Here are some
veryinteresting aspects of his life:
1) He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he
started too late!
2) He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering
newspapers.
3) He still lives in the same small 3-bedroom house in mid-town
Omaha, that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he
has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall
or a fence.
4) He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or
security people around him.
5) He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's
largest private jet company.
6) His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes
only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them
goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular
basis.
7) He has given his CEO's only two rules. Rule number 1: do not
lose any of your shareholder's money. Rule number 2: Do not forget rule
number 1.
8) He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past
time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch
television.
9) Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time
only 5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common
with Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour.
But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
10) Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer
on his desk.
11) His advice to young people: Stay away from credit cards and
investin yourself.
Presence of mind always works !
Not only our technical knowledge helps, but also the presence of mind
and the right answer at right time.
Even if u don't know the answer for a question just confuse the
questioner
Question and the Answer given by Candidates oh sorry they are IAS
Officers now.
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking
it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it
take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with
one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank ) Interviewer said "I shall either ask you
ten easy questions or one really difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a while
and said, "my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me
this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission
depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while
andsaid, "It's the DAY sir!" "How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult
question!" He was selected for IIM!
*"Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is
themaster of presence of mind"
"START BY DOING WHAT'S NECESSARY, THEN WHAT'S POSSIBLE, & SUDDENDLY YOU ARE DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE"
and the right answer at right time.
Even if u don't know the answer for a question just confuse the
questioner
Question and the Answer given by Candidates oh sorry they are IAS
Officers now.
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking
it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it
take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with
one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank ) Interviewer said "I shall either ask you
ten easy questions or one really difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a while
and said, "my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me
this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission
depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while
andsaid, "It's the DAY sir!" "How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult
question!" He was selected for IIM!
*"Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is
themaster of presence of mind"
"START BY DOING WHAT'S NECESSARY, THEN WHAT'S POSSIBLE, & SUDDENDLY YOU ARE DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE"
HR Logic
After 3 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying; My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3×366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realize that I was stealing
Company money all these days.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3×366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realize that I was stealing
Company money all these days.
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